Over the years, I have left a remarkable trail of tears in my wake. It's not like I did that, this, intentionally. I never meant to hurt you, and at times, to allow you to hurt me. The truth is-I'm a sucker for love, and it seems to happen to me repeatedly. My excuse: I embark in all of these relationships because I learn a little bit from every individual that I involve myself with. Although it didn't start out that way. But the truth is: the only thing that I've gotten out of these...things, these creations of my mind, little fantasies really, is self-destruction and more anxiety. I tricked myself into thinking that all of these experiences would each enlighten me and take me to a new level of self-experience so I wouldn't feel to horrible about my track record of wrecking and ruining. Instead, I feel blase and worn-out. I really did try to work things out with every single one of you. I tried to make something of what we had, but I guess it just wasn't ever enough. I'm so extremely tired of this. All I ever wanted was that one person that could light up my life. I thought that I would just know who that person was when I was with them but I was wrong. Thank you modern media for corrupting my little girl years with promises of happy endings.
Our happy endings never turn out to be what we expected them to be, which is both better and worse than what we expected them to be.
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