Pretty in Pink

1986

"Well, that's very nice. I'm glad. Well here's... here's the point, Andie. I'm not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me, because I live to like you and... and I can't like you anymore. So... so when you're feeling real low and... and dirty, and your heart is splattered all over hell, don't look to me to pump you back up 'cause... 'cause... 'cause maybe for the first time in your life I WON'T BE THERE!"

Fallen

Dear Joan,

I've tried so hard not to and I don't think I can ever tell you but I've completely fallen in love with you.

Everytime I look in your big eyes I just want to fall into your arms and know how it feels to kiss your lips.

Your heart belongs to someone else though. I will carry on loving you from afar and dreaming of what may never be.

Truly Madly Deeply

Dear John, 

I'm falling in love with you. I can't stop it. You are now the standard, you are the moon and I think I love you. 

Fight or Flight

Dear John,

I fear I'm falling out of love with you

and you'll never fight for me.

All you need is love

Dear Joan,

You are so vital and precious to me. So much more than a friend. You are a life source to me. A natural spring. You're a constant source of inspiration to me. You ARE MY NEW YORK. My heart has capsized on your ocean...the lonely pieces have sunk into your depths...lost to me forever, they are yours now. I am so blessed to have met such a rare specimen as yourself. You are such a heavenly blend of all the yummiest ingredients. Oh I could go on for pages!

3am revelations

Dear Joan,

I'm totally awkward when girls do it
but you my friend
never ever have.
you just genuinely wondered how I was doing
you were tipsy
giggly
you came to spyhouse soaking wet from walking in the rain to come hang with little ol' me
oh!
even if I was single ever again
I'd never say anything to you!

I can't eat ice cream anymore

Dear John,

i like how well the summer suited us and i like sleeping in with you. i like how you laughed when i said i wanted tea and hot chocolate mixed and i like how you got up to find something to fit the bill. sometimes i think if things could continue in this fashion, if i could contain everything in a beach blanket and a basket of salads and forks and cloth napkins and gross foam from the lake that perhaps we could last a very long time. however, it's already colder at night, i no long crank the air conditioning and things are sad after we've said them a couple times. your mouth tastes different without the heat and words sound different with the new calming wind. when the fall comes and you go somewhere else and when i stay here i'll pass lots of haunts and laugh. i'll press my hands hard against my handle bars, pull up my hood and say, i even started missing you then.

No longer mine

Dear Joan,

I now know that it's impossible to die of a broken heart because if you could I would have been stone cold by the time you set foot into the bar.

I have never seen anyone look as beautiful as you did that night. You were absolutely stunning with your perfectly sculpted legs, glowing suntan and sun bleached hair. Everyone in the bar noticed you and my broken heart skipped so much more than a beat as I realised you were no longer mine.

After a few minutes of awkward politeness the conversation and laughter flowed. All I really wanted to do was to reach out and hold you close to me. To tell you how sorry I was. To tell you how much I loved you and never let you go.

I tried my hardest to be upbeat and happy when we left but the touch of your plump loving lips on mine and the familiar sweet smell of your skin so close to me again threw me into instant despair. I felt so complete in your arms once more, no matter how brief it was.

I walked home with a cigarette in my hand and tears in my eyes. I sent you a text to say how beautiful you looked and you told me not to be upset.

I wish I could express just how much I still love you.

A question

Dear John,

If you asked me seriously, I would think about it

seriously.

Mind Reader

Dear John,

I have no idea where this is going anymore. Your inability to express your feelings to me has gone from an adorable shyness to a coldness I can't not let bother me. These walls we have put up I look forward to stomping on. But again returns this cold breeze of indifference and even disinterest. I'm realizing how much I've shared with you and I hope not to regret it. I wish I knew even just a glimpse of what the future holds before I've revealed too much and form an attachment that will hurt to break apart. Everyday I lose more and more control over my feelings for you, and yet I have no idea how you even feel.

Better Said in a Book Part 2

Friday May 31, 1985

My dearest Soulmate, Today I want to give to you. I suppose because I’m uncomfortable with the expectations of receiving I’ve felt around this time of year before my birthday. I decided to love you physically by giving you this wonderful book from a man who wrote this so long ago*. I wish I could have known him but I’m a wisher all together, aren’t I? I have dreams… Loving You, Tina R.

"seems like yesterday some of those words ring so clear"

Fabric

Dear John,

Despite how painfully complex everything is and how I simultaneously love you with all of my being and feel completely hopeless and disillusioned about you, I care for you more deeply that any other person on the planet. No matter how wrong the timing is or how lost we feel in the course of our lives, I will still be thinking of you- what you are thinking and feeling and doing and seeing- all of the time, consciously and subconsciously. You have become part of the fabric that fashions my existence (whether I like it or not.) I just wanted you to know that.

Over you

Dear John,

here, here's what i fucking think about you... i'm over you completely after tonight....