Boozey Blues

Dear John,

Looking forward to you packing your things and growing up. Your maturity or lack there of, causes a sting that preserves only your childish insecurities. Your integrity and sincerity is questionable and leaves me frightened from time to time. I want to get to know you more and ride this out for as long as we can always happy, exploring the world together and feeling the flight of adventure every corner we turn.

Why can't you just be in love, and consumed with the satisfaction of a swollen heart provides.

Guildford

Dear John,

Looking forward to laying in the grass, so fecund and ambrosial. Singing softly to you. And the quiet country hills rolling along the dotted line of our hoot and howl. Holding hands like baby chickens.

love,

Pumpkin

Who knows how to make love stay?

Dear John,

1. Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.

2. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.

3. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.

Over it

Dear Johns,

You are all completely crappy assholes.

Swoon

Dear John,

CALLMECALLMECALLME.

CALL ME.

Caaaaaaaall me.

Call me?

(Please.)

Forever Dream

Dear John,

I won't text you anymore. I still think you're a hot babe though. The minute I open up even the slightest is the same minute I close down. It's just how I am. I hope maybe someday I'll be able to feel something real, but the more time goes on the less I believe that's true.

And all I know of love is how to live without it.

Backs of Buildings

Dear Jane,

What a perfect fantasy you are! I want to do things to every inch of you. I want to invent a new level of pleasure with you. It's ok baby, I want to kiss your whole self. Beautiful sidewalker babe, I love. How do you you know what to say to me at all times? I don't like the ocean anymore. I hate the ocean. I wish these stars were above both of our heads. Marry me. I'll be your man in public and your slave in private.

Wish you were there, wish you were here. I'll soon be in a deep slumber. I'll dream of you. Sweet dreams, you little peach pie.